Saturday, April 3, 2010
5 Things That Have Made ME Happy This Week.
1. Laughing my head off with my 16 year old son.
2. Talking to my 21 year old son last night.
3. Enjoying a beautiful view yesterday that made me smile.
4. Coming up with my own plan for my own future.
5. Spending time on the internet tonight.
Friday, April 2, 2010
I believe I can find the happiness and peace I have wanted in my life for so long. But I am going to need a plan to figure out how to go about it sucessfully.
It's not going to be easy because there is so much for me to sort out, my first step will be to get professional help through a counselor. I've gone to counseling in the past but did not stay long enough to see the results that I needed. I left too soon for reasons such as; feeling I should be over the pain in my past by now, knowing others have it harder than me and feeling like a cry baby, feeling as if I was taking too long to make any real changes in my life.
Yesterday I saw a man walking his daughter to the school bus with the use of two canes, I could tell it was extremely difficult for him to walk. Having worked in Nursing Homes with Rehabilitation Departments, I thought this man was probablly getting some type of physical therapy.
That is when I started to think that I should view my emotional therapy as I would if I needed physical therapy. I would not consider myself a cry baby or weak for any physical disability, I would not get mad at myself if my body did not heal quickly. So this is what I need to change about my own perception about emotional therapy and take the time I need to heal and make the positive changes that I want to see in my life. I don't need to feel rushed about it, just enjoy any progress I make.
I feel better already!!!!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
What are some of your traditions?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
France's National Assembly (comparable to the U.S. House of Representatives) approved a measure last night that makes psychological violence a crime. The law applies to men and women.
The law, said Prime Minister Francois Fillon, "will allow people to take into account the most insidious situations, which don't leave a mark to the naked eye but can mutilate the victim's inner self."
Getting out of an emotionally abusive relationships or stopping this form of manipulation is never easy. Problems between partners is typical, but when your partner turns emotionally abusive, hogging power and control for the purpose of ego gratification, then it is a matter that you should not overlook or dismiss.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Emotional abuse can be subtle, happening without you realizing your being controlled. It can happen over time, little by little, slowly eroding at your self-esteem. Eventually losing confidence and questioning your own mind and sanity. Your left feeling confused, defensive, angry, sad, bitter, embarased about your weakness, and mostly hurt for having been hurt for so long this way, by the person who was supposed to be your best friend and companion for life. I tried so hard to make my marriage work. I prayed so hard for my marriage. I can't take walking away lightly. I don't understand why we had to end up like this, I was a good wife. And I did the very best I could to raise our children the right way. Passing on my values in life to them. I taught them to be compassionate, kind, and loving. I tried to teach them to value themselves, to let them know how wonderful they were. But in the end none of it was sufficient for you. I'm tapped out. I can't do this anymore. I have to take care of myself now. You don't need to accept me, but I need to find acceptance within myself now.
It can start with simple tension and get nasty over the simplest of things. Frequent accusations, blaming, threatening and giving orders, with a judgmental attitude of “I know best”. Anger, blame, threats, constant criticizims, unreasonable demands, and arguing are a common occurances. Last night we fought about a dollar! An emotional abuser may deny your perception, memory, sanity, and personal needs, especially when the need is greatest. In order to get what he wants, an abuser will emotionally blackmail you by playing on your fears, guilt, compassion, religious values or other "hot buttons" to get what they want. If there is apology, it is usually tempered with self-righteous justification, excuses, denial that abuse happened, claiming the abuse is not as bad as the victim claims it to be, often adding that he had no choice but to get angry because of the way you are. The incident is forgotten, as if the abuse never took place. This cycle is repeated and sustained, and gets worse when I try to defend myself in any way.
Whether delivered directly or indirectly. His message says, "You need to trust my wisdom—over your own—regarding issues specific to you." You even come to recognize the subtle reinforcement employed to help you buy into his propaganda. You might observe reprimand or the withholding of something you desire when you resist the other person's demands. When you yield to his demands, things that were not available before are suddenly available. Abuse survivors begin to discount their inner knowledge and lose contact with their inner wisdom. Eventually, looking outward for answers and fail to factor in a wealth of hidden internal personal datum.
- Making you feel as if you can't be yourself or be trusted.
- Yelling, cussing or name calling to belittle you.
- Insults or makes fun of you in front of others or in private.
- Threatens you with divorce frequently.
- Attacks you verbally with no provocation.
- Spies on you and then confronts you about your activities
- Accuses you of doing things you did not do
- constantly pointing out your flaws
- berate, belittle, criticize and/ or threaten you frequently.
- Uses looks and gestures that are intended to scare you without ever actually hitting you, he may yell and scream obscenities and then pull his fist back as if he intends on punching you but doesn’t follow through, being led to believe it could happen.
- Demanding constant attention and expecting you to spend all your free time with him.
- Deliberately starting an argument for no reason.
- Treat you well in front of others, but will change back to a different person when both of you are alone, and vice versa.
- Constant conflict either with you or with others.
Forcing a partner to engage in unwanted sexual acts, refusing to practice safe sex, treating a partner like a sex object; insisting on sex when a partner is ill.
Isolation from family or friends; intimidation; name-calling and put-downs; denying/shifting blame; treating a partner as an inferior; threatening to harm self/others; abusing children or pets; stalking; using threatening looks, actions or gestures.
Stealing or destroying belongings/money; refusing basic needs such as food or medical treatment; interfering with a partner’s work or education.
Jealousy and possessiveness are forms of control that can easily escalate into emotional abuse and physical violence. Being asked to account for every minute of your day is a sign your partner is trying to limit your freedom.
His desire to spend all his time with you might seem romantic, but he is actually trying to make you dependent on him so he can control you. Isolating you from friends and family is a common form of control.
Charm can be a weapon of abuse, by switching between charm and aggression, this behavior is designed to confuse you and make you doubt your judgment, which leaves you walking on eggshells as you anticipate his next outburst.
Controlling what you wear, who you see, where you go and events you attend, is a strategy for control.
It can often be difficult for an emotionally abused person to take the first step. If you see yourself in this situation it’s important you get professional help to help you overcome the natural consequences of emotional abuse and to get moving in the best possible direction for you. Get support from your friends and family.
Take the first step to breaking free from domestic abuse.
Feel the freedom to discover and become who you really are
find yourself and be the "You" that you are.
Create intimate relationships of mutual honoring and respect. Remember that before someone can be a part of your life, they must first prove they are worthy of your love and companionship. Any action that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened should be given special consideration. Don’t ever sell yourself short or believe you deserve abusive behavior of any type.
Imagine yourself in healthy relationships and entertain this new image routinely, cherish the impact that it has on you and on your perception of an intimate relationship.
Someone who loves you lets you become more of what you are, rather than less of what you are.
Shed your tolerance for self-silencing and the deadening of your own spirit.
Expert on the subject from 21 years of marriage.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Palladio’s Escape encloses 412 square feet and has a footprint that measures 18′ by 26'. It has a full kitchen, two small pantries, an eating bar, living room, and space for a washer and dryer. It also offers a large bedroom with amble storage space and a sleeping loft.
I ALSO LOVE THE NAME OF THE COTTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don’t have the skills or desire to tackle a project of this size, but want the house, Ricky will build one for you to the closed-in stage for $29,000. Also included in this price are high quality double glazed insulated windows and a front door.
Here are some sample pages from the plans and photos of the prototype.
Buy Palladio’s Escape Cottage Plans for $99.00
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
I didn't know that 20 years later I'd feel crushed. And realize that I had married for the wrong reasons.
and so do dreams and hearts." -Neil Gaiman
[image via weheartit]
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
free pattern - click to get larger size and print!
Oh yeah. This bird had a bit too much to drink. This sheet has 6 large designs for kitchen towels. 3 feature the antics of these cute little birds - a mama bird with a baby in a teacup for 'China', a bird admiring its reflection in a silver pot for 'Silver', and this one, with the bird sleeping one off, for 'Glass.' 3 other designs show a puppy with a teacup on its head (for China), a bear holding a champagne flute (for Glass), and a kitten holding cutlery (for Silver). What's oddest about these 3 cute designs is that not only are they cute animals... they're cute animal puppets. On hands. Can it get any stranger or cuter? Now, jog my memory, people - did someone embroider one of these weird hand puppets awhile back? I think someone did, but I can't remember who or where I saw it. Have you embroidered this? Any links would be appreciated!
Also 3 adorable potholder motifs of critters holding signs: the kitten's sign says 'Don't Burn Your Paws', the bear's sign says 'Careful Hot Pots' and the puppy's sign says 'Watch Out It's Hot.' One more small design of the adorable bird burning its feet on a hot pan. My envelope is in perfect shape, and my transfer sheet is complete and uncut.
Snack Mix Bars
Adapted from Inn Cuisine
- 3 cups pretzel sticks, snapped in half
- 2 1/3 cups chex cereal (I used rice, you can use what you like best)
- 2 cups m&ms (use whichever you like best, I did a mixture of plain, peanut, and peanut butter)
- 1/4 cup chocolate chips (any kind)
- 1/2 cup butter
- 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
- 5 1/2 cups mini marshmallows
In a large bowl, combine pretzels, cereal, m&ms, and chocolate chips. Set aside.
In a large sauce pan, melt together the butter and peanut butter over low heat. Stir in the marshmallows and continue to cook over low heat until the marshmallows are melted.Pour over the snack mix and toss to coat.
Press mixture into a 9×13 pan lined with wax or parchment paper. Firmly press mixture together to ensure that the bars stick together when they have cooled. Refrigerate until the mixture is completely cool and firm. Cut into bars and serve.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Today I decided to re-connect with God, what can be better than that?
The high divorce rate in North America suggests that too many
people are rushing into marriage in search of happiness while
failing to take enough time to get to know their partner.
If you want someone to honor and love you,
you need to honor and love yourself first.
vacation, change our jobs, or take the time for rest, but if we
don't change our attitude, we will end up back in the same place.
May I dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life and gaze upon his beauty (from Psalm 27).
Thank you Lord for letting me ALWAYS come back to you no matter how many times I've sinned against you. Please help me be stronger and always do what is right. I don't ever want to do anything that is offensive to you. But you know me I need ALL the help I can get. Show me what keeps me away from you and teach me how to remove these barriers. Give me a forgiving heart, teach me to forgive myself as well. Teach me how to build healthy relationships with others. Please ask those that I have hurt in any way to forgive me, I meant no harm and never wanted to hurt any one.
Thank you for giving me the Gift of Love and letting me help others with a grateful heart. Thank you for the time I've had alone and for bringing me to a new job that I'm excited about. Help me do my work as best as I can. I also want to ask you to bless those that are Care Givers and those that need to be cared for. I ask you to bless my family and give them a caring, forgiving and loving spirit. May they also want to please you and you only. Help me and my family be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord
I pray for all those that are in Haiti and their families. Bless those that are there to care for them as well.
I pray to be a Proverbs 31 kind of wife, that I would greatly enrich his life, and do him good and not harm all of my life.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
Here are a few more helpful thoughts from Life Blessons.
My new approach to praying for others
Learning to embrace where God was calling me--even when it was the last thing I wanted to do
A Bedtime Prayer to Restore Your Soul Tonight
Unexpected insights from a boring Old Testament li...
Ever wonder how God “talks” or how to “hear” him?
Learning the art of hospitality, one step at a tim...
How I’ve learned to deal with my anxieties
- Cardboard Egg Carton
- Dryer Lint
- Small Pine Cones and/or Dried Pine Needles (optional)
- Old Candles, Old Crayons, and/or Canning Wax
- Small Pot (One you will not use for cooking anymore)
- Ladle (One you will not use for cooking anymore)
Fill each egg carton cup loosely about half full with dryer lint. If you want to use small pine cones and/or dried pine needles, place those on top of the dyer lint. It you use the pine cones and needles, it is okay if the cups are slightly overfilled, just make sure the lint does not get packed in too tightly. Set this aside, on several layers of newspaper or another surface that cab handle hot wax.
On the stove top, add old partially used or broken candles. Canning wax can also be used and crayons can be mixed in too. Don't worry about the wicks, as once the wax melts, they settle to the bottom of the pan. Once the wax is melted. carefully ladle the wax into each egg carton cup. Extreme care should be used as the was is VERY HOT.
The key to making these fire starters is to adhere all the lint and pine cones/needles together. The cups do not have to be totally full of wax, but the items in the cups need to be fused together.
Once the wax is cooled, the egg crate cups can be cut into sections.
from The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook
makes 12 cupcakes
Print this Recipe!
1 cup all-purpose flour
a scant 3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
pinch of salt
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Put the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and butter into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, or use a handheld beater and beat on slow speed until the mixture is a sandy consistency and everything is combined. Gradually pour in half of the milk and beat until the milk is just incorporated.
Whisk the egg, vanilla and remaining milk together in a separate bowl for a few seconds, then pour into the flour mixture and continue beating until just incorporated. Scrape any unmixed ingredients from the side or the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Continue mixing until the batter is smooth. Just a few minutes. Do not overmix.
Spoon the batter into paper lined muffin tins, dividing between the 12 cups. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until light golden and a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cupcakes cool slightly in the pan, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely before frosting.
3/4 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips (I used chocolate chunks)
1/4 cup heavy cream
Put chocolate chips in a small bowl. Bring cream to a simmer in a small heavy saucepan. Pour cream evenly over chocolate. Let stand for one minute to soften, then stir until smooth. If frosting is too loose to spread, let it sit at room temperature for 10 to 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, frosting will continue to thicken as it stands.
Top vanilla cupcakes with chocolate ganache, slightly sweetened whipped cream, slivered almonds and a cherry.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
i found this @Go Graham Go!
5/8 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Layer the ingredients in a 1 quart or 1 liter jar, in the order listed.
Attach a tag with the following instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, beat together 1/2 cup softened butter, 1 egg and 1 teaspoon of vanilla until fluffy. Add the entire jar of ingredients, and mix together by hand until well blended. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto the prepared baking sheets. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until edges start to brown. Cool on baking sheets, or remove to cool on wire racks.
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
I need to get a sewing machine and learn how to sew, so I can make these bags. I love them!
Before you pack away your summer clothes for the winter, you might want to set one of your tank tops aside to make one of these easy totes. The best kind of tank tops to use for this project are ones that have front and back necklines that are the same height—or very close. Otherwise, your tote bag will be lopsided. The brown tote is reversible, so the pockets can be on the inside or outside. I made that tote small because the straps were thin and wouldn’t hold a lot of weight. The magenta tank top had a gathered neckline in front and back, so a gathered bottom was ideal. A pink store-bought flower pin finished it off.
Tank top tote with six pocketsSupplies and tools
- tank top
- straight pins
- water-erasable fabric marker
- sewing machine and thread
- fabric scissors
- seam ripper
- sewing gauge or ruler
1. First remove the tags with a seam ripper or scissors.
2. Turn the tank top inside out.
3. If your tank top has a bra liner, cut the elastic off the bottom of it.
4. Fold so that the straps lie on top of each other.
5. Fold the bottom of the tank over itself. This will become the pockets.
6. Pin in place, making sure the seams line up. Mark where you want the seams in between each pocket with pins or an erasable fabric marker.
7. Using a stitch that stretches with knit fabric, such as the triple straight stitch, sew the seams that divide each pocket. Make sure the bra liner is lying flat before sewing. Back-stitch to lock the seams.
8. Sew the bottom together about 1/4 inch from the edge. Back-stitch to lock the seam.
9. Turn the tote bag inside out so the the pockets will be on the inside—or leave it as is.
Gathered tank top toteSupplies and tools
- tank top
- straight pins
- water-erasable fabric marker
- sewing machine and thread
- fabric scissors
- seam ripper
- sewing gauge or ruler
- flower pin
1. First remove the tags with a seam ripper or scissors.
3. Fold so that the straps lie on top of each other. Measure and mark where you want the seam to be. I placed mine five inches from the bottom of the tank top.
4. Baste two rows (about 1/4 inch apart) along the line you marked. Do not back-stitch. Then pull the bobbin threads tight as you slide the fabric inward to gather it. Then use a straight stitch with a shorter stitch length and sew between the two basted seams. Back-stitch to lock the seam. Pull out the basted seams.
5. Cut off the excess fabric about 1/2 inch past the seam.
6. Turn the tote bag right-side out.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
- Grab your current read
- Open to a random page
- Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
- BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
- Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
This is the story of Ida de Tosney, mistress to Henry II of England. Here’s a quote from the page I’m on now:
Henry had intended sailing to Normandy to deal with pressing affairs, but until his wound healed, he had no choice but to remain in Winchester; thus he was not only feverish, but grumpy too. He was in no mood for bed sport, for which Ida was glad, but she knew she might be summoned at any moment to adjust his footstool, plump his pillows, sing to him, or just sit in his chamber.
And from a couple of pages further on:
In the warm summer evening, the court was taking its ease in the gardens and dining informally in the open air. A string of attendants ferried salvers of dainties from the kitchens, including marinated fruits, little balls of almond paste stuffed with dates and crisp hot fritters, oozing with melted cheese.
I’m reading this book for: